Grief and Loss Supports

The loss of a loved one can be challenging, and often, our children don't know how to deal with the feelings that come with grief and loss. LEUSD can help. We have Mental Health staff, including School Social Workers, who can meet with your child to help process some feelings.

There are times when grief can bring out negative behaviors or actions not seen before. This can be their way of communicating their feelings and the ability to talk about what they feel. Be patient and seek support. We have resources on this page to assist with the hard conversations.

David Kessler, Grief Expert

https://grief.com/10-best-worst-things-to-say-to-someone-in-grief/

The Best Things to Say to Someone in Grief

1. I am so sorry for your loss

2. I wish I had the right words; just know I care.

3. I don’t know how you feel, but I am here to help in any way I can.

4. You and your loved one will be in my thoughts and prayers.

5. My favorite memory of your loved one is…

6. I am always just a phone call away

7. Give a hug instead of saying something

8. We all need help at times like this, I am here for you

9. I am usually up early or late if you need anything

10. Saying nothing, just be with the person

The Worst Things to Say to Someone in Grief

1. At least she lived a long life; many people die young

2. He is in a better place

3. She brought this on herself

4. There is a reason for everything

5. Aren’t you over him yet, he has been dead for a while now

6. You can have another child still

7. She was such a good person God wanted her to be with him

8. I know how you feel

9. She did what she came here to do, and it was her time to go

10. Be strong

Best & Worst Traits of people just trying to help

When we want to help a friend or loved one in grief, our first desire is often to try to “fix” the situation when, in all actuality, our good intentions can lead to nothing but more grief. Knowing the right thing to say is only half of the responsibility of being a supportive, emotional caregiver. We have comprised two lists that examine both the good and the not-so-good traits of people just trying to help.

The Best Traits

Supportive, but not trying to fix it
About feelings
Non-active, not telling anyone what to do
Admitting can’t make it better
Not asking for something or someone to change feelings
Recognize loss
Not time-limited

The Worst Traits

They want to fix the loss
They are about our discomfort
They are directive in nature
They rationalize or try to explain the loss
They may be judgmental
May minimize the loss
Put a timeline on loss

Downloadable Grief Resources